What is Bowen's idea of "differentiation?"

This is the first of several articles about major concepts in Murray Bowen's family systems theory.

Bowenian Family Systems theory has been a major cognitive map or model which informs my psychotherapy practice. It assists me in thinking and understanding my client's situations and I often share Bowen's ideas with my clients in the hope that understanding Bowenian concepts will be helpful to them in enhancing their self knowledge and in being purposeful and intentional in their interactions with others.

The topic of this article is on "differentiation."

Differentiation is simply "self knowledge," one of the major components of what is called "Emotional Intelligence."

How well do you understand what makes you tick? People who understand what makes them tick are described in collogquial terms as "having their shit together." Some people "have their shit together" and some people don't. Of perhaps a better way to think about this is "To what extent do I and other people have their shit together?"

This idea of self knowledge is based on Socrates statement that "an unexaminded life is not worth living." To what extent do you or others live an examined life? In psychology this capacity for examining one's own functioning is called "reflective functioning."

When the idea of differentiation is applied to our every day functioning, it makes one consider whether one's behavior is "reactive" or "responsive." Reactive means that your buttons get pushed and you just engage in a knee jerk response with no thought or impulse control. Responsive means that you are able to resist impulsively reacting, step back, get yourself and the situation into perspective, and then decide how to proceed in a purposeful and deliberate way.

The goal in life is to always be responsive and never be reactive. Jesus, Buddha, and other enlightened masters were always responsive 100% of the time. They were enlightened, self realized, self actualized human beings. Few of us become "masters."  If a person can be responsive 80% of the time and reactive only 20% of the time, they have become very mature, semi - awakened human beings.

The idea of differentiation can be useful in assessing marital, family, and organizational functioning because the level of differentiation of the individual has significant consequences for marriages, families, and organizations. These idea will be shared in the next article.

To be continued

Movies - On the Basis Of Sex

On The Basis of Sex is a movie about Ruth Bader Ginsberg's early life and career establishing her expertise in  advocating for women's rights in the U.S. in the later half of the twentieth century.

It is a five out of five on the MBH movie scale and is highly recommended.




Editor's note:
This is not only a biographical story about RBG but a good example of how social change is made in an intentional and deliberate way.

The norms, attitudes, beliefs, practices of a society are highly influenced in a democracy by the "rule of law." The impact of the changes in women's rights in a patriarchal society made by Ruth Bader Ginsberg's and others efforts are enormous. What is taken for granted today and "just the way things are" has not always been the case, and the recipients in todays society of the changes made by those who came before us deserve recognition, acknowledgement, and support.

This movie is informative on multiple levels and inspirational. It filled me with gratitude for the work that has been done to improve the lives of people in our society by what are called in Unitarian Universalism, "Words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love."

Monroe County, NY jail offers treatment for opioid addiction

From WHEC NBC Channel 10 news on 01/17/19

 

For more click here.

American Psychiatric Association denounces Supreme Court decision to ban the service of transgendered people in U.S. military

From the Psychatric News Alert of 01/24/19:

"APA has denounced a Supreme Court decision handed down earlier this week that gave a green light to the U.S. military to restrict service by individuals who are transgender.

A sharply divided high court handed the Trump administration the victory for its policy banning transgender military service by a vote of 5-4, without discussing the merits of the case. In response, APA issued a statementcalling for the protection of transgender individuals’ civil rights and expressing great disappointment in the decision to lift the injunctions on the transgender service ban imposed by a lower courts.

After President Donald Trump signed the ban last March to disqualify individuals who are transgender from military service except under certain limited circumstances, four federal courts issued preliminary injunctions to block it. The Supreme Court decision lifts the injunctions and allows the ban to take effect while the cases challenging the policy continue to wind their way through the courts."

For more click here.

What does the devastation of the opioid epidemic look like on the ground?

Jan Rader is the fire chief, first responder, and a nurse in Huntington, West Virginia who describes her community's reponse to the opiod epidemic.

Huntington is a county of 95,000 people which, in 2017, experienced 1831 overdoses, and 183 deaths.

Rader describes some innovative programming in her community to deal with substance use disorder which as reached epidemic proportions not only in her county but across the U.S.

 

Editor's note:
I was the executive director of GCASA, the Genesee Council on Alcoholism and Subtance abuse in Genesee and Orleans Counties in Western New York state from 2000 - 2011. I continue to consult with counselors at GCASA who are obtaining psychotherapy superivision hours for their licensure.

The opioid crisis has hit Western New York hard as it has in Huntington. As Chief Rader describes, the deaths and crisis nature of the phenomenon are very difficult for people suffering from substance use disorder as well as their families, friends, and communities.

The opioid epidemic in 2018 created more deaths in the U.S. than car fatalities. It takes a whole community working together with people from multiple sectors to restore our communities back to an acceptable level of public health.

Tomorrow, January 26, is National Spouses Day

Celebrated annually on January 26th, National Spouses Day is an unofficial holiday which encourages couples to celebrate each other on this day. On this day, people are supposed to take time out of their busy schedule to show just how important their spouse is to them. After all, the love that isn’t tended is most likely the one that doesn’t thrive. This holiday shouldn’t be confused with Military Spouses Day – a holiday which falls on May 12th.

Interesting facts about marriage:

• The average married couple has sex once a week
• 20% of married couples have a sex-less marriage
• Over 300 couples marry in Las Vegas every single day
• Every hour, there are a 100 divorces in the United States. Couples who seriously dated at least two years or more before marriage have much lower divorce rates.
• The divorce rates for second marriages is higher than for first marriages. 
• The symtoms of marriage becoming toxic and breaking up are hurtful criticism, and the expression of contempt and disdain.
• Interracial marriage was banned in the U.S up until 1967. The number of mixed racial marriages has been rising since then.
• Gamophobia is the fear of commitment
• Wedding rings go back to Ancient Egypt
• Marriages and families are happier when there is at least a 5:1 ratio of compliments to criticisms.
• There are five love languages: physical touch, words of affirmation, spending quality time, acts of service, recieving gifts
• Most important thing people want from marriage is to know that their partner is going to be there for them.
• The best kind of marriage is one characterized by unconditional love. This kind of relationship is holy.

For more click here.

What are cognitive distortions in CBT( Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT is one of the strategies of psychotherapy which is often studied and sometimes referred to as "research based."

In general, when psychotherapy outcomes are studied, psychotherapy which applies some of the ideas of cognitive behavioral therapy, it is found that CBT gets good results usually as good, if not better, than psychotropic medications.

One of the significant ideas of CBT is what are called "cognitive distortions." Cognitive distortions are very common and often are engaged in unconsciously. The person is thinking in certain ways that interfere with the person's good functioning.

In the short video below, five cogitive distortions are identified:

1. Emotional reasoning
2. Disqualifying the positive
3. Mind reading
4. All or nothing thinking
5. Catastrophizing

As I am fond of reminding my clients, "If you can't name it, you can't manage it." If you can't name the problem, you are doomed to be influenced by emotional and cognitive forces which you are not consciously aware of. Once you can "see it" and name it, you can think of ways to manage it.

Most people are not aware of how their psyche works and consciousness, knowledge, is power.

A skilled psychotherapist can help a person identify the cognitive distortions which are operating in the person's thought system. Once identified, the person has the power, then, of deciding how they can be managed and changed for the better.