Cultivating wisdom

Often, if we are honest, it is precisely our theory of therapy itself that limits our ability to understand the client.

Forman, Mark D.. A Guide to Integral Psychotherapy (SUNY series in Integral Theory) . State University of New York Press. Kindle Edition. 

As therapists we need theories to understand the problems which clients present to us. To be well trained in a certain theory or technique is the basis for many workshops, CE classes, and certifications. However, when the only tool in your tool box is a hammer, everything starts looking like a nail.

I asked a colleague one time what he thought the most important quality was in a good therapist and he said, “Wisdom.” Having my BA in Philosophy I felt a warm glow with this answer.

I have spent my career reflecting on how one cultivates wisdom?

Book discussion - A Guide To Integral Psychotherapy by Mark D. Forman

 I am studying the book, A Guide To Integral Psychotherapy: Complexity, Integration, and Spirituality In Practice by Mark D. Forman. There will be many posts over the next few months about ideas from this book. Please, if you are interested, get a copy and follow along and comment on our discussion.

Suicide rates by country

The suicide rates by country in 2019 per 100K were 

Jamaica = 2.3

Italy = 4.3

Israel = 5.2

UK = 6.9

Germany = 8.3

Ireland = 8.9

France = 9,7

Canada = 10.3

Australia = 11.3

Japan = 12.2

U.S. = 14.5

Russia = 21.6

The US has twice the rate of suicide as the UK and 3 times the rate of Italy.

Grief - The body dies but the spirit lives on in the stories we tell.

 

The body dies but the spirit lives on in the stories we tell about the values, opinions, beliefs, and practices of the body which has died.

I had a dream last night about my paternal grandmother who died when I was 21. My aunt, her daughter, complained to me that I had not visited her and that she missed seeing me. I defended myself by telling my aunt, "But I thought she died?" My aunt repeated her statement, "No, she is alive and well and wants to see you."

"Okay," I said, "I'm sorry. I guess I was mistaken. I will go and see her."

I did go to see her and apologized. I said to her, "Grandma, I thought you had died."

She said, "No, I've been here and I've missed you."

She was quite different in that she seemed very happy and enjoying her life and I was very happy to learn she was alive and I could visit her now. We had a delightful visit and I look forward to many more. It was a joy to reconnect.

Meditation and Aerobic exercise can reduce depression up to 40% in two months

 

Meditation and aerobic exercise together can help reduce depression, research finds. Targeting both the mind and the body — for twice a week over two months — was enough to reduce depression by 40 percent. #mentalhealth, https://t.co/5sE35N5CzW

— David Markham (@DavidMa03737241) June 20, 2022

What is success?

Success at age 3 is not peeing your pants or skirt,

Success  at age 16 is driving a car

Success at 18 if discovering the wonder and intimacy of sex.

Success in your 20's and 30s is finding a meaningful  job or profession and raising your kids at home.

Success in your fifties and 60's is getting your kids out of your home.

Success in your 60's and 70's is wondering if you really want to have sex.

Success in your 70's and 80's is keeping your drivers license.

Success in your 80's, is of course, not peeing your pants or skirt.

How has that been working for you?

Perhaps even more than professional background, the therapist’s theoretical approach to clinical practice is a decisive facet in defining a psychotherapist’s identity, 6 and those theoretical approaches are also very diverse. In the clinical literature there appear to be literally hundreds of theoretical orientations, often closely related to one another, and with labels differing just by a word or two, sometimes prompted by therapists’ desires to have their own “brand” in the marketplace.

Orlinsky, David E.. How Psychotherapists Live (p. 15). Taylor and Francis. Kindle Edition. 

When people ask me what kind of psychotherapist I am I say, “I am a practical therapist. I talk with people about what might help with the problems they are trying to manage and when they return for their next session I ask, ‘How has that been working for you?”

People laugh, and I laugh, and it’s all good.