Cinema Therapy - Dead To Me

Dead To Me - TV series, three seasons

Secret keeping

Dead To Me is a TV series with three seasons currently streaming on Netflix. It is the story of Jen Harding, a realtor whose husband is killed in a hit and run crash as he is jogging on a dark night on a suburban road. Judy Hale is an activities therapist at a nursing home whose fiance just broke off their engagement. Unknown to Jen, Judy was the driver who struck her husband while driving a car home from a party when her fiance was too intoxicated to drive. The fiance convinces Judy to keep on driving. Judy, out of her guilt, decides to reach out to the grieving widow, Jen, and they become best friends.

The series is a dark comedy but the characters are well developed and the scenarios very believable. As one watches the episodes the veracity of the plot is believable and both characters are likable. The problem is that they both lie to the other about essential events and therein lies the creative tension of the story.

The therapeutic elements of the TV series are based on the keeping of secrets which one's partner has a right to know. How do these secrets influence the dynamics of the relationship and what is the best way to manage them?

As the episodes are watched, the secrets slowly emerge, and another question arises about whether the strength of the friendship can overcome the resulting disillusionment, resentment, fear, and guilt. These are human situations which we all face in our lives when we have done things of which we are ashamed and guilty and fear punishment. How are these feelings and situations to be managed best?

This TV series is recommended for people interested in the best way to manage secrets and work through the consequences when the secrets come to light.

Cinema Therapy is a regular feature on Markham's Behavioral Health which appears on most Tuesdays.

Bibliotherapy - Plainsong by Kent Haruf

Plainsong is a story of multiple abandonments and multiple helpers. Victoria, a 17 year old pregnant high school student is abandoned by her boyfriend and her mother and goes to her Home Economics teacher, Maggie Jones, who winds up arranging for her to live with two taciturn senior bachelor farmers, Harold and Raymond McPherson. Meanwhile a colleague of Maggie’s, Tom Guthrie and his two sons, Ike and Bobby, are abandoned by his wife. Tom is friends with the McPhersons and with Maggie. The two boys often visit the McPherson farm with their father. The boys also are befriended by an elderly woman, Mrs. Stearns, to whom they deliver the newspaper, and Mrs. Stearns teach the boys how to bake cookies.

While this story is rife with heartache and rejection, it also is fueled by kindness and support from unexpected places. It reminds me of Mr. Rogers' story about his mother telling him, “Freddie, when you’re in trouble look for the helpers.”

The helpers are available in life and even though the story is full of heartache and pain, it also is optimistic and positive about the goodness of people even in the face of abandonment by others.

Plainsong by Kent Haruf is one of my favorite novels and I recommend it often. It was made into a Hallmark movie in 2004 which is good, but not as good as the novel.

Articles about bibliotherapy appear on Markham's Behavioral Health most Mondays.

Empathy and the psychotherapeutic humanities.

One of the most important skills of a helping person is empathy. Empathy is the ability to put oneself in the other person’s shoes while still remaining in one’s own. Empathy is the ability to be responsive without being reactive.

Empathy is based on the platinum rule not the golden rule. The platinum rule is “do under others as they would have you do unto them.” In order to follow the platinum rule the person using empathy must know something about the person’s culture which includes their values, beliefs, opinions, traditions, preferences, and practices. Where does a person learn about another person’s culture, thought system, and world view?

The psychotherapeutic humanities: fiction, poetry, film, visual arts, dance, and music are a good place to start. Theology, cosmology, anthropology, history, and sociology are other sources of information contributing to richer understanding.

There will be a series of articles on this blog describing various examples of the psychotherapeutic humanities, especially novels, poetry, film, and music. What are the novels, poems, films, and music that have enriched your understanding of the other to enhance your empathic skills?

Article of the week - Practicing psychotherapy in post Dobbs America

There is an excellent article in the Psychiatric Times on January 18, 2023, entitled "Abortion and the Psychiatrist: Practicing in Post Dobbs America." The topic applies to any mental health professional not just psychiatrists. The bottom line is that the laws that apply vary widely from state to state and the risks of legal prosecution for both patient and therapist vary widely as well. All psychotherapists should be aware of the issues that arise in working with patients of child bearing age.

For the article click here.

Article of the week will be posted on most Saturdays highlighting and referencing an article of interest to people interested in the mental health of members of our society and planet.

Music Therapy - Walk right in and sit right down, The Rooftop Singers

Walk right in and sit right down was recorded by The Rooftop Singers in 1962. The song was an old folk tune attributed to Gus Cannon who wrote it in 1929. I sometimes sing it to my clients when I greet them in the waiting room and invite them to the consulting room. The lyrics are perfect for psychotherapy: “Walk right it and sit right down, daddy let your mind roll on.” 

Usually clients under 50 do not recognize this song but when I tell them about it they usually smile and laugh and relax and I say “So, what’s been happening to you,” and we’re off and running for 55 minutes.

An article is posted about Music Therapy most Thursdays.

Cinema Therapy - The Sinner, First season

The Sinner is a TV show which ran for four seasons with the primary character being Harry Ambrose a police detective who has ghosts of his own life which haunt him. Nonetheless his interest in his cases are not the what and how but the why and the why is what drives the creative tension in each season and the episodes.

The first season is about Cora Tanetti, a young mother, who stabs a man at the beach impulsively while on a picnic with her family in front of many witnesses. Harry thinks that Cora’s behavior is the result of psychiatric issues and digs into her past in an attempt to understand her behavior.

This series is a very good depiction of the consequences of trauma and how PTSD contributes to acting out that can be sometimes lethal to self and others. The viewer comes to understand Cora’s trauma and its influence on her cognitive and emotional dysregulation. This understanding contributes to an experience of compassion for Cora and appreciation of Harry’s persistent effort to get to the bottom of things.

This TV series might be helpful to increase the understanding of trauma and its effects for students in human services fields and the general public.

Bibliotherapy - Skylight by Jose Saramago

 Skylight by Jose Saramago

Ordinary people with ordinary lives each with its own drama.

From Amazon web site : Lisbon, late-1940s. The inhabitants of an old apartment block are struggling to make ends meet. There’s the elderly shoemaker and his wife who take in a solitary young lodger; the woman who sells herself for money and jewelry; the cultivated family come down in the world; and the beautiful typist whose boss can’t keep his eyes off her.

Poisonous relationships, happy marriages, jealousy, gossip and love – Skylight brings together the joys and grief of ordinary people. One of his earliest novels, it provides an entry into Saramago’s universe but was lost for decades and published, as per his wishes, after his death.

Skylight is reportedly one of Saramago’s first novels which he wrote in his 30s and was never published until after his death. It is about the tenants of an apartment building in Lisbon, Portugal, in the late 1940s. Each of the families is quite different although they live together and their lives are interconnected. 

Along with the gossip and intrigue are philosophical reflections on the meaning of life manifested in their behavior and in their conversations. A student of human behavior and emotional life will find the characters and their daily struggles familiar, understandable, and perhaps imitable or not.

Some of the characters are happy, some confused, some perturbed. 

Skylight is a good book for a discussion group. It would be interesting to see what characters people identify with and why. Skylight also describes many interactions and interpersonal dynamics that are ripe for description and understanding. How might situations have been handled differently to bring about better results?

Skylight is recommended to people interested in human nature and what makes people tick. The characters are ordinary people living ordinary lives but each filled with drama of their own making. The degree of self awareness is variable among the characters with Sylvestre, the cobbler, seeming to be the most mature of them all.