Understanding The Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship, the book

Understanding The Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson is an extremely important book for any psychotherapist or layperson interested in the impact of parenting by a person with Borderline Personality Disorder.

The impact is huge and can be multigenerational. Dr. Lawson, in lay language and with clear case examples describes the dynamics that occur between mother and children and somewhat with fathers. She also has clear suggestions for how adult children can manage the relationship with the Borderline mother.

I believe this topic is so important that I am planning on posting a series of articles on this blog as I re-read and study the ideas in this book further. I am developing a new category on the blog which I am entitling, Borderline Parenting. While the focus of Lawson's book is on mother's, fathering plays a critical role  well.

In addition to reading this book and being a psychotherapist, I also have personal experiences with the topic which undoubtedly fuel my interest and resonance with the material described.

I highly recommend this book.

This is article #1 in a series of over 21 articles on borderline parenting.

Death notification: A Father's Grief

David Markham's account details the devastating night his family was involved in a drunk driving accident. The narrative recounts his frantic efforts to locate his injured wife and children at various hospitals, culminating in the heartbreaking discovery that two of his children died. Markham's description poignantly portrays his grief, the challenges of delivering devastating news to his surviving family, and his ultimate decision to become a DWI victim impact panelist to honor his deceased children and prevent similar tragedies. The included discussion guide proposes questions for reflection on the events described.

To read the article click here.

 

Psychotherapy happens in a political environment

 Summary

David Markham's email argues that psychotherapy inherently involves power dynamics, particularly concerning clients' self-determination. He contends that therapists face ethical dilemmas when clients' choices clash with restrictive governmental policies, citing reproductive healthcare and LGBTQ+ rights as examples. Markham suggests that these conflicts create a situation analogous to a totalitarian regime, forcing therapists to operate covertly to uphold their ethical values and support clients' rights. He emphasizes the potential legal risks for therapists who openly advocate for their clients in such circumstances. The email prompts reflection on the political dimensions of psychotherapy and the challenges faced by therapists in upholding ethical principles.

Guns are the #1 killer of children and teens in the US.

Summary 

David Markham argues that lax gun control policies, promoted by groups like the NRA, contribute to high rates of gun deaths, particularly among children and teens, in the United States. He contends that this stems from a lack of understanding regarding the long-term consequences of such policies and a societal embrace of guns as a means of protection, despite evidence showing this to be false. Markham emphasizes the need for increased public awareness and improved gun safety legislation. A commenter suggests that mental health issues are the root cause of violence, regardless of the weapon used.

 

Beyond the body, the spirit needs healing as well.

Summary Salman Rushdie's account of his rehabilitation after a stabbing explores the emotional rollercoaster of recovery, specifically highlighting the fluctuating levels of optimism alongside physical pain. A parallel is drawn by David G. Markham who details his own arduous orthopedic rehabilitation, creating personal scales to measure mental clarity, energy levels, and optimism/pessimism alongside pain. David emphasizes the crucial role of optimism in navigating such challenging circumstances and the importance of support systems, referencing his own despair and subsequent recovery. Both accounts underscore the complex interplay between physical recovery and emotional well-being during rehabilitation. David'd experience mirrors Rushdie's in the intense emotional and physical challenges of recovery.

 

It's not loneliness, it's the lack of meaning and purpose in later life.

Summary Explore the concept of successful aging, emphasizing the importance of meaning, purpose, and contribution in later life. They argue that combating the "loneliness epidemic" requires fostering a sense of usefulness and agency, rather than merely addressing social isolation. Maintaining autonomy and self-determination is highlighted, alongside the power of reframing aging to focus on continued contributions, such as the simple yet significant act of giving attention. The texts draw upon Atul Gawande's Being Mortal and offer strategies for individuals and society to support fulfilling aging experiences.

 

Psychotherapy and violence as a tool of social change

 David Markham, a mental health professional, reflects on the role of violence as a tool for social change in the United States. He observes the normalization of violence in American culture, citing recent political events and rhetoric as evidence. Markham questions the implications of this trend for psychotherapy and explores alternative approaches to social change, prompting a discussion among colleagues about effective strategies for facilitating positive change. He raises concerns about the implications for mental health professionals. The overall tone is one of concern and inquiry.