In the past I have shared the idea of the usefulness of cognitive maps for a therapist as they attempt to guide the therapeutic process. One factor in the social regression and developmental stuckness is rapid social change engendering fear but this impacts people at different levels of "differentiation of self", a Bowenian concept.
There are many characteristics of DOS and perhaps one of the most important is anxiety levels and the ability to be self aware and regulate one's thoughts, feelings, and behavior. To use the analogy again of childhood development, most followers of mass movements who attach themselves to charismatic leaders are at a relatively low level of DOS. They are insecure and lack a sense of well integrated self.
In thinking about how to proceed with people with low levels of DOS, we might consider how a parent deals with a 5 or 6 year old anxious child. Usually it is through reassurance along with reality testing, encouragement to "use your words" and coaching on management strategies for regulating elevated amounts of emotional arousal (anxiety.)
Radical acceptance, a concept from DBT, can only occur when anxiety levels are decreased through soothing behaviors both self activated and facilitated by a trusted other. Radical acceptance brings peace and peace brings that ability to radically accept. So what comes first, the chicken or the egg? Basically, security is enhanced with structure and predictability.
I had a client with Borderline Personality Disorder who I have seen probably 10 or 15 times who told me in our last session "Just be honest with me. Tell me when I'm wrong and what I should do!"
So, I have been a bit more directive with this invitation but I still walk on eggshells thinking it is only a matter of further interactions before she is offended by something I suggest and fires me and looks for another therapist.
In the long run, peace, lower levels of anxiety are not to be found externally but internally. And this I see as a spiritual problem. Radical acceptance has been known for decades in 12 step programs as "Let go and let god" or turning it over to one's Higher Power whatever they conceive their Higher Power to be.
As John Bradshaw said people are trying to fill "the hole in their soul". That's where we psychotherapists come in. How do we help people fill the holes in their souls?
