Showing posts with label Attachement styles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Attachement styles. Show all posts

Saturday, August 29, 2020

Attachment theory - How childhood experiences affect later life relationships



I find attachment styles a very helpful idea in understanding the problems that people experience and their interactions in relationships.

Monday, December 23, 2019

How are attachment styles distributed in the U.S. population?



Levine and Heller in their book, Attachment, suggest that about 50% of the population in the U.S. exhibit a secure attachment style while 20%  exhibit an anxious attachment style, 25% an avoidant attachment style and 5% may be disorganized or some combination. These percentages are guesstimates and I don’t know at this writing of a better scientific basis for judging any different. There is some evidence that anxious attachment styles are increasing with the rise of social media resulting in poorer face to face interpersonal skills. Turning to social media for solace when upset does not seem to have the same physiological calming effect as physical presence and touching.

In the psychotherapy office, the majority of clients seeking consultation usually exhibit an anxious attachment style. It is less frequent to meet with a person with an avoidant attachment style unless that person is encouraged or coerced by another person to go for counseling. The most symptomatic clients seeking psychotherapy may have a disorganized attachment style and often they are diagnosed as suffering from Borderline or some other Personality Disorder.

The main benefit that people obtain from a psychotherapeutic relationship is to create a supportive relationship with a counselor who has a secure attachment style whom the client can use as a secure base from which to explore and experiment and make changes in their life.

This is post #3 in a series on Attachment Styles.

Sunday, December 22, 2019

Attachment styles - definitions


Below are some definitions of the three main attachment styles. Some theorists also add a fouth style which is named "disorganized."

Being able to name one's own predominant attachment style, and those of others with whom one interacts, provides guidance for how to be manage those relationships.

Adult attachment designates three main “attachment styles,” or manners in which people perceive and respond to intimacy in romantic relationships, which parallel those found in children: Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant. 

Basically, secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving; 

anxious people crave intimacy, are often preoccupied with their relationships, and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back; 

avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. 

In addition, people with each of these attachment styles differ in: their view of intimacy and togetherness the way they deal with conflict their attitude toward sex their ability to communicate their wishes and needs their expectations from their partner and the relationship

Levine, Amir. Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love (p. 8). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

This is post #2 in a series on Attachment Styles.