How to make a new friend

One of the regular topics which come up in psychotherapy sessions with my clients is lonliness. Social connections is one of the key components of wellness. As we get older it is harder to make new friends. There are some good tips in this video which is informative and entertaining.


 

A way of understanding later life problems in living is to understand the trauma we may have experienced in childhood. This trauma is called "adverse childhood experiences."

If a person has a high score on the ACE screening tool, what can they do to lower their over all anxiety and tension level? Dr. Nadine Burke Harris describes 6 components of wellness one of which is social connections.

What is trauma informed care?

Are you aware of ACEs - Adverse Childhood Experiences?

From Social Justice Solutions on 02/24/17

"In a nutshell, this ACEs science clearly shows that childhood trauma results in the adult onset of chronic physical and mental illness, violence, and being a victim of violence. It shows that most of us have experienced childhood trauma. And it shows that the systems we’ve created to change human behavior — whether criminal, unhealthy or unwanted — will actually work if we change them from blaming, shaming and punishing people to understanding, nurturing and and healing them."

For more click here.

"It is what it is" leads to resilience and a miracle

Two thirds of Americans report Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) which predict poorer health and more problems in adulthood. However research has show than people who can accept their childhood trauma seem to do better. This acceptance does not imply agreeing with it or condoning it.

In reading this description of the study done, and the observation that "mindfulness" helps with managing memories of the trauma, the saying "it is what it is" comes to mind. In the recognition of the trauma and the acknowledgement of it, we can rise above it.

This recognition and acknowledgement often happens best when the person can have his/her say about what happened in the presence of an understanding, trusted other. It is the non anxious listening of another who becomes an enlightened witness that this transformation can occur. Some might call this transformation a "miracle" in the sense that there is a shift in perception and understanding that is liberating and facilitates peace.