Psychotherapy Stories Podcast - Happy To be here.

Father's who physically play with their kids help them develop more emotional self regulation.

For more https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0273229720300307?via%3Dihub

How to make a new friend

One of the regular topics which come up in psychotherapy sessions with my clients is lonliness. Social connections is one of the key components of wellness. As we get older it is harder to make new friends. There are some good tips in this video which is informative and entertaining.


 

A way of understanding later life problems in living is to understand the trauma we may have experienced in childhood. This trauma is called "adverse childhood experiences."

If a person has a high score on the ACE screening tool, what can they do to lower their over all anxiety and tension level? Dr. Nadine Burke Harris describes 6 components of wellness one of which is social connections.

People who smoke and vape at higher risk for Covid IX

Research at the University of Rochester Medical Center has found evidence of why COVID-19 is worse for people who smoke and vape than for the rest of the population.

Irfan Rahman, who runs a lab at URMC that studies the effects of tobacco products on the lungs, said people who smoke and vape often have elevated levels of receptors for an enzyme called ACE2.

Those receptors also allow the novel coronavirus to enter lung cells. More receptors means more viral load, which means more severe infections, Rahman said.

How Can You Do This Work?

How Can You Do This Work?

I get asked this question fregquently.

Here is my attempt to respond.

I had read Sue Mann’s article, “How Can You Do This Work?”, in Trauma, Narrative Responses To Traumatic Experience edited by David Denborough in which she describes her work as counselor in an agency serving adults who were sexually abused as children. Sue describes sharing with others, who ask, what she does for a living and them then saying, “How can you do that work?” Throughout my career of 49 years, I have continually reflected on this question myself. 

A career in clinical human services brings one continually into contact with stories of pain, suffering, injustice, and abuse. We are not only recruited, but required, to insert ourselves into situations where we witness and engage with the worst in human behavior and activity. Often these jobs pay very little, provide meager, if any, benefits, provide little, if any, social status and respect. A naive outsider sometimes asks why would a person go through the time and trouble to acquire a college education and training at significant expense to engage in such difficult and financially unrewarding work? Even further, people being aware of the vicarious trauma the counselor is subjected to in the course of her work, appropriately ask “How can you do this work?”

For more click here.

Fatal car crashes up 13% for 15 - 24 year old males in states with decriminalized marijuana laws

States with marijuana decriminalization laws experienced a 13% increase in fatal car crashes among 15 - 24 year old males. There was no increase in females, and no increase in drivers over 24.

There also were no increase in fatal car crashes in states with medical marijuana laws. It is hypothesized that the reason for the difference between deciminalized states and medicalized states is that medical marijuana laws require that the marijuana only be used at home.

From the American Journal Of Public Health, March, 2020.

For more click here.

The grieving process - Stage two: bargaining

Stage two - bargaining

The second stage of grief has to do with the undoing of the loss. We do a lot of second guessing. “Maybe if this, maybe if that then the loss would not have occurred.” There is often a lot of self blame and blaming of others and circumstances. “What if this had happened, or that had happened, then the death wouldn’t have happened at the time it did.”

Bargaining also involves a lot of “if onlys.” “If only I had done this or that,” or if others had only done this or that then this would not have happened.

We even, like Jesus in the garden at Gethsemane, plead with God to remove this cup. We promise to go to church every Sunday, give $10,000 to the church, put a bathtub Madonna in our yard, if only God would intervene to not let the death happen.

The bargaining stage is often the longest of the stages of grief and can last months and sometimes years. The bargaining stage prevents and forestalls acceptance that the loss has occurred and is permanent. As long as we bargain in our minds and hearts, we don’t have to accept the crushing sorrow and grief that acceptance entails.

Arguing with a person who is bargaining does not help. Reassurance does not help. Listening in a non anxious and a non judgmental way does help. As the grieving person expresses and articulates their alternative scenarios, the facts become clearer that circumstances did not allow the desired change to prevent the loss to occur and so their hopes and desires are merely a pipe dream. Having expressed their desire that things could have been otherwise, the grieving person comes to realize that the loss probably could not have been prevented or forestalled. “It is what it is” as the Buddhists say.

Bargaining can be exhausting and will eventually run its course because reality eventually begins to set in and life goes on. However as bargaining peters out, sadness and despair become more prominent. This increase in sadness and despair is the harbinger of acceptance which intensifies the emotional pain but also brings a release from which hope in a future meaningful life springs.

One of the things which helps people get through bargaining to acceptance is faith in the process of grieving. Once it is understood what is happening, it becomes less scary and more understandable. With understanding bargaining becomes easier to manage as both the person grieving and the witnesses who want to be supportive.