Tension is a characteristic of an emotional system

The systemic tension is in the system not in solely in one part although one component is sometimes known as the "symptom bearer." But the symptomatic member of the system can change rapidly as in "hot potato, hot potato, who's got the hot potato."

One person in the system is sometimes scapegoated because it serves the other parts of the system and maintains system homeostasis. Systems, to main homeostasis, often engage in human sacrifice.

Having been trained as a strategic family therapist, I was taught to ask, "What is the function of the symptom for the system?" When we look at the high levels of systemic tension in the United States today where fingers point to many scapegoats, as therapists looking at the system dynamics, we might ask where we can best intervene to jog the system onto a better level of functioning? When we make these interventions, they may cause, initially, an increase in stress because the system is destabilized and thrown into disequilibrium, which is a good thing if change is to occur, but as the therapist, we need to professionally and responsibly guide this restabilization to a more constructive, healthy way of functioning.

Nonviolent advocacy is the better way to go than further violence or even resistance alone. So the question we might ask ourselves is what do we love and how do we bring it about. Martin Luther King, Jr. was not against racism per se, but was an advocate for justice the arc of which bends slowly but inevitably to making heaven on earth when everybody loves everybody all the time.

How do we do this? One person at a time. I can love the sinner, but hate the sin. We can commit ourselves to stop wringing our hands and do something good today to somebody who crosses our path. This can be challenging in difficult times, but something that we psychotherapists are committed to.

Who should I love? - Watch Video