Authoritarian parenting is a major factor in contributing to children lying and cheating. The lying and cheating is a coping mechanism to deal with shame, low self esteem, and sense of failure.
It is my observation in my professional and personal life that this coping mechanism extends into adulthood and can become quite dysfunctional interfering with the development of healthy interpersonal relationships.
Lying and cheating undermine trust, credibility, and reliability.
It can take years to overcome this habitual response to dealing with situations in which there is a fear of disappointment and punishment from others from telling the truth and acting fairly.
I had a client who told me she had found and bought a book titled, The Courage To Be Disliked. Besides lying and cheating the fear of dissappointing and being punished by others for not living up to the external expectations is a major contributor to symtoms of anxiety, depression, and in the extreme homicidal and suicidal ideas. To overcome lying and cheating it does take courage to stand up for oneself and be honest.
There are many ways to change these habitual behavor patterns and perhaps one of the best is psychotherapy with a trusted nonjudgmental psychotherapist
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