One of the key components of mentally healthy functioning is security. Security comes from predictability from the perspective of the child. Can the child trust their caretakers to meet their needs and treat them fairly?
Does the parent mean what they say and say what they mean? Is the parent reliable and dependable? If so, the child grows up feeling secure and competent in meeting life's expectations and requirements.
In structural family therapy the therapist focuses on the family hierarchy, good boundaries, regulated management of emotional expression, and the provision of predicted routines. This means that the therapist often parents the parents so they can better enact their parenting roles with their children to achieve more satisfying and fulfilling family relationships.
Parents should not say things to children they don't mean and aren't likely to follow through with. Honesty is a significant virtue to cultivate in ourselves and in our relationships.
Kids do well with rules if they are reasonably and fairly enforced. Adults do too.
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